Big Girls Dun Cry 11:33 PM

:::.Luv this songs so much! Enjoy! Most of about me, from da day i grew older.:::

La Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and Center, Clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and UNO cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and Center, Clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

hit me (baby) one more time.....n i'll KILL u! 11:35 PM

as last friday, i went to book fair after english class n a meeting for project management. the venue was at
 PWTC...pheww....dat day was great! i added my novel collections on HLOVATE's and IMAEN's. hehe..(dun blame me mum, u know who started my crazyness!)

then while having lunch, my frens asking for me to go and support my class futsal 
team practice at stapak futsal court (i think so). i went there wit karun (which kinda paksa me to be there) n nik ida. so we go there, getting with others and into da court. 

aku cari tempat lepak tepi court je but i didnt know it was wrong idea to stay in court while others keep practicing futsal. another minutes then, i was kene REMBAT dengan apau!!!!!
hadoi la....sakit gle...tepat kene pale lak tuh. lbih 20 mins aku xleh gerak. nk bukak mata pun seksa. da la pakai contact lens...haru laaa.....

cuak gle apau dengan karun. but i'm not blaming them. bukan sengaja pun. after an hour, i'm getting better. aku lompat skit to show them not to worried much. da rain after dat killin takes my head spinning again but i'm not showing it to others. not to make them more worry of me. 

the effects takes until rite now (after 3-days incident). on saturday, my concusion getting worst. i vomits after taking b1st and lunch. my head spinning, n i couldnt even stand still, cant open my eyes, cant makes many movements. sampai nk type message to my bf pun menggigil. he called me then coz he worried and ask me to go to haspital. but unit pesakit luar is off on weekend. he ask me to admit emergency, i said no. we have arguments while i'm in pain. it SUCKS!!! he even told me not to tell anything to him anymore (he's sulking), juz becoz i'm not considering his suggestions. i knew he so worried n concerned, but i'm not going juz becoz of that.

then today (monday), i'm getting better. but since there are many who worried about me, my housemate, my frens n da bf who so far away, i juz go to have checkups at HKL (even da bf ask me to have CT scan, which i said "overboard"). after few checkups and meetings, da doc said i having general concusion + jangkitan virus.. phewww...
see, there's nothing to worried about guys. i knew my conditions well. i knew i didnt need da doc to said so. i knew i had concusion even i didnt know the level. n its stated "GENERAL" only.  i even not taking da medicine, baik bagi pada yang lebih layak. i didnt need it, ok.

da concusion will takes few weeks to recovered (maybe 2-3 weeks). i'm suggested not to involved with any sports, not having stress, not to this, not to that...(haiiyaaa...). it already makes me sick!

so meanwhile, i will not pamper my self out of what da doc said. my life will run completely as i want to. nothing will stop me. called me STUBBORN as if i didnt know!!! 

n apau, even i'm forgiving u now, doesnt mean that i'm giving second chance to do another rembat.. try me.

here without u 11:04 AM


there's a sad nus la....
i WILL NOT seeing him after he coming back from Sarawak. coz he will be at semenanjung only for few days, n there r many things he shud setel b4 fly back to Kuching... huwaaaaa.....
another tormented period for me...wat shud i do???

i feel so lost...tensen jer...
everything must be accepted
but i dun want to be a burden 4 him, so i just shut my sadness..hmmm


wind it up! 10:31 PM

here's the situation:

there are few presentation in my class today, perform by other class that combine wit us. actually i'm not really enjoy it cos..i'm not that into the subject anyway. so there are one group of 3. 2 gals wit a guy. one of them are old enuf to be called akak, n i do respect her for her willing to continue her study even i think she already have watever it takes for a happy woman. but wit the presentation dat i dun understand, i start mumbling and writing gossip on a paper wit my fren beside me. 

me: barula aku pasan, BI kite lagi best dari klas len...wonder why...?

she: they mix all over the words, the pronounce, the speech: Malaylish

me: y everything have r-n-s? (every word she said have this sounds). kamus baru ka?

she: she bajet she good enough. american+britain+perancis, ok what

me: hoho...then what r we? nigerians? haha. sakit perut aku nk gelak kne tahan

she:  tak pyh thn2..kang terkeluar isi perut ikut blakang. wahahahaha

me: ceh...imagine: HUSBAND --> HUSBARNS

she:  hahaha...memang lawak spangpranbritlish (spanyol+prancis+british+english)

me: aku ingat English je hancor, malay (language) pun jahanam upernyer

she:  dah ckp BM pn xleh nk cari ayat best, inikan lg ckp BI

me: excited sgt nak bercakap...sumer tunggang terbalik...


the moral was: if u do a presentation, make sure u know the pronounciation well. i'm not saying i'm good enuf, since i do love malay+english, but at least i sure do want to learn it. not just syok sendri, reka perkataan baru tuk kamus sendri. 

hmm...if i do same thing..please help me guys, k.

Q-A session: Jangan Mengeluh 11:49 PM

Kita selalu Bertanya....................dan Al-Quran sudah menjawabnya.................

"Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; "Kami telah beriman," ("I am full of faith to Allah") sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji org2 yg sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui org2 yg benar dan, sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui org2 yg dusta." 
-Surah Al-Ankabut ayat 2-3

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesua tu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui." 
- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216

"Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya." 
- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286

"Jgnlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan jgnlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah org2 yg paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu org2 yg beriman." 
- Surah Al-Imran ayat 139

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu (menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan), dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh, di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah (dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah-daerah sempadan) serta bertaqwalah (be fearfull of Allah The Almighty) kamu kepada Allah supaya, kamu berjaya (mencapai kemenangan)." 

"Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk" 
- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 45

"Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari org2 mu'min, diri, harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga utk mereka... ? 
- Surah At-Taubah ayat 111

"Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain dari Nya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal." 
- Surah At-Taubah ayat 129

"... ..dan jgnlah kamu berputus asa dr rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dr rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yg kafir." 
- Surah Yusuf ayat 12

p.s.: Kalu engko nak mengeluh lagi ............jom gi ngaji 


more to LIFE 11:21 PM


on da bus, b4 departing

huhu..on 18th April 2009 (my lil bro bebday also), we're going to Woods Camp, Ulu Yam.

Man...its crazy fun u know?
we we're arriving there at 9.10 a.m. and got
simple briefing for our accomodation. i'm staying in a tent wit nik ida n paez. free space for us..huhu.

we then given a grup for some activities, n free time to do watever until lunch. i'm in grup 4, together wit malik cdds, ida ccss, fiza ccns (my classmate) ali cbds (haha..lengkap sume ccsp student cos). then we brainstorming da presentation for dat nite. da plan was: make simple play n sing. huhu. da song is quite jiwang...garu kepala jugak la aku. but then, its ok lor...xsemestinyer kne wat yg aku ske je kan. huhu.

after lunch, we have sukaneka at 2 p.m. kinda fun! first game we have 'lambong belon' and keep it. we lost. sad. but then after the game,we can trew it to whoever. hoho. i trew it to mr. naga but not reaching him. pecah kat tangan sendri. alamak. he then pointing at me like said: "you're dead meat!" haha. gurau je. 2nd game we have 2 telan anything given by committee. 5 things are: biskut kering, roti wit wasabi, telur mentah, kopi pekat, n roti wit fresh cili burung. hoho. da team let me choose kopi pekat. xda hal beb, mmg gua ske pun. hoho. senang je aku telan. yg len mmg terkulat2 la gak. pas game, free time lagi. aku ngn geng2 memeng+paez+arif n awek die, malik, n rest g lpak kat stream area atas skit dri tempat camping. mmg best siott..enjoy abis. even ade yg kitorang xknal, tp masuk je korum. lapk2 sampai nk senja br aku kuar dr air. then kne bratur cri toilet bersih. ingat nk guna toilet chalet memeng, but there already too many line up for turn. sir mus let us to borrow his chalet.

after maghrib n dinner, i n my team practice for our play. n after isya' da presentation started. we got da last number to play. (i dun have any pic here. i'll add it up later, insyaAllah). my frens said i was miming. hoho. not miming la dey, small voice. i kinda afraid of staying on stage. it aint my place! hoho. wat to do lorr...

after finish, we have little game but not very interesting. also have camp fire too. but its ok, just to kill time b4 we have our 'blind walk' on 12 a.m. but sad, xjadi lak. everyone was so tired, it was cancelled.

i having problem to sleep in da tent. lantai die sejuk sgt, n i have athma. not good for me. tapi tido je la...nk wat lagu mana. semalam je pun.

next day we have pocor2 dance. i was one of instructor. hoho (also dun have pic on dis. i'll try to search for it from my fren later, insyaAllah). 1st time, sume lintang pukang. huhu. yg melompat2 pn ada (ahmad n ayie i noticed). but 2nd time much better. everyone enjoy it n ask for more.

on 10 a.m., we have treasure hunt. it was fun coz all in my team so enthusiastic, specially malik. he always runnin from one point to another and make rest in team runnin too. n da result: we WON!!!! hoho. exciting feelings, hehe. specially for malik, coz he work so hard on it (actually on every game we have). da game end n we have free time again until lunch (every free time i spent in da water..huhu)

after have lunch, aku berendam jap (sempat aje...). then on 2 we start our blind soccer. my team lost. my blind google was so 'blinded'. i cannot see anything. sumer orang men langgar2 aku.huuu..mentang2 aku kecik.memeng pun tersepak kaki aku. the end of game, sir naga join it n his team won. dats first time i ever seen he actually join da activity.

we end up our day wit penyampaian hadiah and team 4 got no. 2!! sumthing i never expected. then we exchange our gift wit each other n take pics altogether.

so, after got back to reality, nik ida said dat she left sumthing in da bus. at first, i dun bother, but then when she said, my things also in it too. terus lutut jadi lembik! alahai...nk wat caner. da jadi. nk marah pn xleh da. halal je la...

conclusion: I REALLY DO ENJOY DA EVENT!!!. it quite facinating n meet lots of new fren too. i hope to join it next time. huhu.

"Baby I'm Back..Yeah" 8:52 PM



I was so excited when he telling me dat!! Even I was so tired when I just got back from KLCC, meeting my frens from Ipoh+I'm not recovered yet from fatigue, its all gone when he recite 'Baby, I'm Back!".

he was at Sarawak, outstation. I guess, I already post about it last week. since i missing him so much, i kud not wait for him to return back. huhu. but he will be here on at least this saturday. hmm...lama lagi tuh. but at least i have da date to count. YAHHOOOOO...!!!


damn TIRED! 10:24 PM

urg...i just got back from da camp....really...DAMN TIRED!

so i will not ranting tonite..maybe tomoro.
even i am so excited to post about camp's activities...but i must do it with all d energy. if not, da post wud be so lame...i dont want dat..
so, later je lah yer...
i want to sleeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp...zzzzzz

tomoro never dies 9:47 PM

isok aku nk g CAMPING...huhu. jgn jeles seh...

ala...kt Ulu Yam je pon. bukan jauh. 
ok la..aku pun da bape tahun x g camping. sebelum aku dipaksa menamatkan zaman bujang without using my youth to maximum, baik aku ikut jer. kalo nak bergila-gila pun skang jer. sok2 mne tau kot da xleh. 

but somehow, i actually isau about sumting, MAXIS XDER COVERAGE KAT CTU....uhuk2...
abis la aku, xleh 'gayut' dgn da BF. 

since i have been worried bout it for few days, my fren suggested that i kud buy celcom number and use it while i'm on outcast. mne leh! xkn sebab sehari je, aku kne beli number len lak kn? amatlah not sensible. posibility itu aku sebutkan pada BFku, surprisingly, he agreed. isy, ngarutlah. so, i didnt buy da number. biarla. 2 ari semalam je pun. bukan lama sgt (iye lah tuh!). even i know i might killin myself while i'm missing him, i just try to bare it lah. hoho

so my campers fren, help me to forget him for a while, can ah? alahai....sabar je la

Chosen Leader: Tan Sri Dato’ Sri Dr. Zeti Akhtar Aziz 2:05 AM


Tan Sri Dato’ Sri Dr. Zeti Akhtar Aziz (Dr. Zeti) is a Malaysia 7th Governor and still currently a governor for Bank Negara Malaysia. She holding that title from May 2000 and a first woman got the title. 


Dr. Zeti was born in Johor Bahru, Johor. Her father is Professor Ungku Aziz, and mother Sharifah Azah Mohamed Alsagoff.  She received early education at Assunta High School, Petaling Jaya in 1958. In 1970, she received a Bachelor's degree in Economics from University Malaya. She subsequently continued her studies at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, receiving a PhD in monetary and international economics. As part of her PhD dissertation she carried out pioneering work on capital flows and its implications for monetary policy. She is married to Dr Taufik Ayman and has two children.


She began her career as an economic analyst for the South-East Asia Central Bank Training & Research Center, from 1979 to 1984. She was then appointed Deputy Manager of the Economics Department at Bank Negara Malaysia.

She joined the Economics Department in Bank Negara Malaysia in 1985 and was appointed Secretary to the Board of Directors of the bank in 1987. In 1989, she was posted to the Bank Negara Malaysia London Representative Office as the Chief Representative. After returning to the Head Office in 1994, Dr. Zeti was appointed the Bank's Chief Economist and the Head of its Economics Department. In 1995, she was appointed Assistant Governor, responsible for economics, reserve management, foreign and money market operations and exchange control.

Additionally, she was Managing Director of Danaharta Nasional Bhd from 1998 to 2000, and was on the board of directors of Khazanah Nasional Bhd from 2004 to 2008.

On November 16 2008, she was selected as one of the members of a special task force at the United Nations to examine reforms of the global market system.

Dr. Zeti as a Leader

Dr. Zeti is the one and only woman in Asia who holds the portfolio as a central bank’s governor, and is also one of the very few women in the world appointed to the highly regarded position. She has been serving the Bank for more than 20 years.  In 2003, Euromoney named Dr Zeti as Central Bank Governor of the Year for her role in the reform of the exchange rate, the capital markets, and the banking industry. 3 years before that, she was made the list of ‘the most powerful women in the finance industry’ as was released by the international magazine, Global Finance.

Dr. Zeti was one of the key figures that were involved in the decision to introduce capital controls and the currency floating. A controversial implementation that raised the eye browses of financial critics and the likes. However, many years later, she achieved a status of a hero and returned the country into competitiveness faster than any other countries in the region. Apart from being a high flier in the company, Dr Zeti has also written numerous dissertations and publications on monetary, financial economics, Islamic finance, capital flows, macroeconomic, financial reform, restructuring and so on. 

Her achievements

While there are parallels between the Asian economic crisis 10 years ago and the current financial turmoil may hold some useful lessons for world governments as they steer through troubled times. To going forward, the world is likely to continue to be plagued by financial crisis. While the trigger factors for such financial crises may be different, for most, there was a general loss of confidence, disruptions in the financial intermediation process and a general downward spiral of asset prices.

As in the Asian financial crisis, the economic contraction was severe.  In the current financial crisis, the spillover effect on the economy has yet to be fully felt. The Asian crisis, however, ran its course within a short period of time. The policy focus during the Asian crisis was on restoring the functioning of the intermediation process to promote economic recovery. For most countries, growth resumed within 18 months of the start of the crisis.

The Policy

The important action that needs to be taken in managing a financial crisis seems to be already apparent, as evidenced by the series of policy announcements made by the respective governments, the multilateral agencies and the various international groupings. Dr. Zeti announced policy actions have included providing huge liquidity injections into the system, that removing the troubled assets from the portfolio of financial institutions, strengthening their capital position and providing depositors with protection. In addition, the implementation of monetary and fiscal stimulus has also promoted economic recovery.

As for her actions, Malaysia then can measures the implementation at the early stage of the crisis raised the prospects for restoring stability and the resumption of lending. Such early and pre-emptive action requires anticipation of the trajectory of the crisis. Reacting to developments or delayed action diminishes the effect of the measures to contain the deterioration. It will also raise the cost of the crisis.

While today economic crisis, Dr. Zeti said that “The effects of the fiscal stimulus and supportive monetary environment will put the country’s economy in a better position in the second half of the year”.  She said though the external economies were experiencing contraction, the domestic economy was still growing. The first quarter of this year was very much impacted by contractions in external economies which have taken a toll on country’s exports, she said. As for the effect on the global developments in first and second quarter of year have been surfaced. She believed that in the current environment our projection is more or less a flat growth because of the contractions of the external environment and it is being offset by domestic demand.  On non performing loans (NPLs), Zeti said the Malaysian domestic banking system was well-positioned to absorb any rise in NPLs. The NPLs are now at historical low of just over two percent. And therefore, even if they were to rise, the banks can absorb them. The declined have been seen to trend up to this point.


From the bottom, a woman always was underestimated when it comes to leadership.  However Dr. Zeti has proves that the statements are no longer an arguments that she always shown a woman also can be a great leader.  She’s seen as a good governor more that the previous Malaysia’s governors are. The crisis that now happen globally never bring her down, hence make her coming up with ideas that seen can saves Malaysia.

As a leader, she is also an analyst, that is, she’s industry forecasters who are well versed on the trends, opportunities and problems that her field might face. In any public exchange, she is ready to answer question on any challenges that might happen to her review. 

p.s. I Love U 11:18 PM

hi there..

do you familiar wit 'P.S. I Love You'? it is a novel writen by Cecelia Ahern dat been made to movie with Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler, Lisa Kudrow, etc. I love it so much coz it touches my feelings very well. Its about a dead guy 'guiding' his wife to have love again after she's in miserable of his death. however, i will not talking about dat particular movie, nor the novel. P.S. I LOVE YOU also has been my phrase also lately.

my boyfriend is at ______ for few weeks-outstation. he's working at 'geomatic' field in the jungle. being far away from him make me kinda lost. while he's been there, I cannot always contact him, or sms him coz he is so god-damn busy with his work: day and nite. since i already promise him dat i will understand his situation, i cannot complaint anything to him if he cannot entertain me. sad u know. da la skang nih tengah 'angau overboard'! alahai...sakit tul la..

so if i send him message and he cannot reply coz his work, i will send another message says ' p.s. i love u' to show dat how much i missed him and care.

but tonite (just now), he tell me dat his company ask him to continue at Sabah!!!! huwaaaaaaa......(feel like crying!). he will be there for few weeks after finish his work at Sarawak.
erm...i already like a lost kitten rite here, so i dun know if i will turn into lost 'godzilla' if this keep happening. hmmm....

so yesterday 12:34 PM

i'm starting this blog 2 days almost midnight. since i use da 'free-so-called-wireless' of my neighbour, i always cannot complete my blog, cannot give response to sir mus on his q:wish to know who i am and need my blog add, cannot read my manga online...haiiyohh...bcoz he (da neighbour) keep turn it (da wireless) off! well...da free stuff, i shouldn't complaint rite? beggars can't be picky... :(

i want to use broadband but my bro said i can have his after i receive lp from KLMU....(yeah...when is it??) so meanwhile, i just use free sources. huhu

[enter da main point]
so yesterday i finally watch FAST FURIOUS4 wit my frens. i waited for it but coz of some prob, we delayed until yesterday. i was so......EXCITED!!! i really enjoy action movies, specially on cars...beautiful cars!
it finished almost midnight...err...not actually. on 10.15 (but its midnight for me already. coz i dun have night life b4). i was so tired that i already spent 2 night straight at KLCC after class. (da night b4 was for booking tickets). i also almost terlajak my subuh! thank god my so-called bf was waking me up!

well..i cont this tonite lah...gtg...2 have lunch!

a new start to find new faces! 11:27 PM


I hereby to announce my new blog!
actually I already have blog, with friendster.
u r welcome to visit

rite now, i'm uploading my new novel..(that still in progress..unfortunately. So, in term of erm...what should i call it...self-estimate can ah??) i put a password there. Sorry guys...I can't help it. Hehe...I'll release after I have confidence to do so. PROMISE!

But u still can read other previous post! naaa.... :P